| THIS is a dark chapter that is not for the squeamish. I find it very painful to write, and I would certainly skip it were it not important, and had I not vowed to tell the whole truth about my adventures. |
1 |
| Do you remember that I said I had a reason for attempting that suicidal dive into the ocean? And that there was a terrible flaw in my reasoning? The reason and the flaw only became apparent to me as I knelt beside the body of my friend in that dark tunnel and I clasped my hands together and wailed: |
2 |
| "0 Miser Shen, forgive me! I did not listen to your warnings, because deep in my heart I suspected that our story was only a dream!" |
3 |
| Indeed I had, right from the moment when I stabbed the Duke of Ch'in and he laughed at me. My error was subconscious, but no Chinese gentleman could conceivably consider that to be an excuse. Almost anything can happen in China and usually does, and skepticism is a fatal disease. |
4 |
| "How could I have been so foolish?" I sobbed. "I allowed a dark corner of my mind to tell me that what was happening was impossible, but only a barbarian could believe that anything is impossible! Only a barbarian would dismiss the evidence of his eyes and call it a dream! Is it a dream when the characters weep real tears, and shed real blood, and feel real agony, and die? 0 Miser Shen, forgive your foolish friend!" |
5 |
| In my heart I knew that Miser Shen forgave me, but I also knew that I had not even begun to pay for my lapse into barbarism. Those who confuse dreams and reality must pay for it in nightmares, and a Chinese nightmare is not to be compared with the pallid imitations of the West. As you shall see. |
6 |
| I tried to pull myself together. Miser Shen was dead, and now those murderous monks would be after me. I arranged the body of my friend as decorously as I could, and I prayed: |
7 |
| "Miser Shen, great is your joy! Now you are free from the prison of your body, and your spirit is reunited with that of your wife and little Ah Chen. Surely the Yama Kings will allow you to be reborn as a tree which the peasants will name Old Generosity, for there is no more generous act than to give your life to save the life of a foolish friend." |
8 |
| I could think of nothing more to say, and there was nothing more I could do. I could not bury him in the hard rock. So I stood up and picked up the torch and bowed deeply to Miser Shen, and even as I did so I heard a soft sly voice behind me that snickered: |
9 |
| "A very touching scene, Li Kao." |
10 |
| I whirled around. The little monk in the black robe was standing at the entrance to one of the passageways! Even as I lunged forward my common sense screamed at me, "You idiot! Have you learned nothing from the death of Miser Shen?", and I tried to stop, but it was too late. What appeared to be solid rock in front of the little monk was nothing but a cleverly painted reed mat and I crashed through like an elephant stepping on thin ice. I tumbled head over heels down into a black pit and landed with a crash that knocked the breath from my body. If I had not been able to roll as I landed I might have been killed. When I regained my senses I heard the rattle of a chain above me, and the sound of sliding iron. My torch had fallen into the pit beside me, and in its fitful light I saw that the little monk was leaning over the edge of the pit pulling upon a heavy chain. To my horror I saw that the chain was attached to a flat sheet of iron which was sliding across the top of the pit like a lid! |
11 |
| I drew my right hand back behind my ear. "A present from Miser Shen!" I yelled. I do not usually miss with a dagger, and the flashing blade shot up through the air and buried itself to the hilt in the little monk's throat. He dropped the chain. His clawing hands clutched the handle of the dagger and tried to pull it out. He gurgled horribly, and blood spurted, and the front of his black robe turned red. Then he toppled down into the pit, straight toward me, but he never landed. His feet became entangled with the chain and he suddenly jerked to a halt, and then he was swinging back and forth in the air just above my head, and the creaking of the chain was like mocking laughter. For when I looked up I saw that his weight had pulled the iron lid all the way across the top of the pit! |
12 |
| I stuck the torch into a crack in the rock floor, took a deep breath, spat on my hands, grabbed the dangling monk's arms, and began climbing like a monkey. I scrambled up the chain and shoved against the lid with all my might, but it was hopeless. Even with good leverage I could not have lifted that sheet of Iron, and dangling in the air as I was made the idea laughable. |
13 |
| I climbed back down. I was in a pit about eight feet wide and fifteen feet deep. The walls were made of massive stone blocks, fitted tightly together. The floor was solid rock. The lid was unmovable iron. The little monk swung back and forth on the iron chain, dripping blood, and the sulphurous torchlight cast his grotesque shadow on the walls of my prison. I was buried alive. |
14 |
| I have a horror of small closed places. In my will I have directed that my body be burned and my ashes scattered to the winds - a practice repellent to most Chinese, but anything, as I see It, is better than a coffin. My legs turned to water and there was a lump of ice in the pit of my stomach. |
15 |
| "Son of a bitch!" I whispered. |
16 |
| I sat down and buried my face in my hands, and I stayed like that until the fumes from the torch made me choke. I lifted my head and gazed at it. The flame was still burning yellow, but soon it would burn orange and then blue, and then it would not burn at all. Even If I extinguished it and endured the further horror of blackness how much air would I have left? Enough for two hours of life? Three? |
17 |
| "Well don't just sit here, Li Kao!" I told myself, and I hopped to my feet and began examining my prison inch by inch. |
18 |
| I missed it the first time. The second time around I saw that all but one of the stone blocks in the wall were perfectly cut and joined, but the exception had a tiny strip of mortar around the edges. I needed a strong blade to work with, and the dangling monk had very kindly brought one to me. I reached up and jerked my dagger from his throat. |
19 |
| "Many thanks," I snarled, ducking a jet of blood. |
20 |
| It took me half an hour, and when I had finished I was in no better shape than before. The mortar was gone and the stone was loose, I could feel it shift in the hole, but I could not shove it in and how was I to pull it out? The narrow crack around the edges where the mortar had been was too small for my fingers. They were bloody from trying. Somehow I had to work that stone loose with my dagger, but I knew it was hopeless and on the tenth try I heard the sound I had dreaded. I slowly withdrew the hilt. The blade had snapped right off, and now it was lodged in a narrow crack where I could not reach it. |
21 |
| I turned around. My throat contracted and I could hardly breathe. I felt the walls closing in on me, and I foolishly pushed against them. Then I sat down and held my head between my knees until the nausea passed. |
22 |
| "Snap out of It, Li Kao!" I told myself sternly. "All you have to do is pry a stone out of a wall. Why, a little problem like that would not have bothered the great Chang Heng for more than ten seconds! So the question is: what would Chang Heng have done?" |
23 |
| I thought until my head ached, and that was the only result I achieved. The dangling corpse seemed to be laughing at me. "You miserable little bastard!" I yelled, and I hurled the useless hilt of my dagger against his body, and the chain creaked mockingly at me as the monk swung back and forth, back and forth, back and forth... |
24 |
| I took a deep breath. |
25 |
| "Chang Heng," I said slowly, "would have asked this splendid fellow to pull the stone out for him, that is what Chang Heng would have done." |
26 |
| I jumped to my feet. When I swung the little fellow over to the stone I found that his small fingers fit into the cracks as though they had been made for them. Then I extinguished the torch - I needed it for something other than light. It was difficult working in the dark, but eventually I had the corpse the way I wanted it: one end of the torch holding the little monk against the stone, and the other end braced against the opposite wall. I pressed the small cold fingers into the cracks at the sides of the stone and the thumbs into the crack at the top, and squeezed thumbs and fingers together as hard as I could. How long I stood there in the darkness holding the dead monk's hands I do not know. It seemed like several eternities before the flesh was icy and rigid. I knew that I would not get another chance - the air was almost gone, and my head ached and my lungs labored - so I said a little prayer to every deity that I could think of, and then I kicked the torch free. |
27 |
| The corpse slowly swung back upon the creaking chain. The rigid fingers clutched the stone in a grip of iron, and the stone slid cut with no effort at all. |
28 |
| For a moment the monk dangled there with the massive stone block in his hands; then the stone slipped and fell to the floor with a crash, and I dared to breathe again. When I did I breathed fresh air! I grabbed my tinderbox and relit the torch and stuck it back into the crack in the floor. Once more I used the monk and the chain as a ladder, and when stuck my head through the hole where the stone had been I saw a long narrow tunnel, sloping up toward the surface, and at the end there was light! In a flash I was through the hole and crawling up the tunnel. |
29 |
| It was night. When I stuck my head from the hole at the end of the tunnel I saw the light of hundreds of torches which were stuck in brackets on the walls of buildings. I was on the side of a low cliff, looking down at some sort of ceremony that was taking place in a courtyard. |
30 |
| It was very strange. In the center of the court a figure wearing ceremonial robes was seated upon a wooden throne. Since he wore a smiling paper mask with a little curly beard I guessed that he was dressed as Fu-hsing, God of Happiness. To his left was a large copper urn which was filled with parchment scrolls, and to his right stood an assistant who was also dressed in ceremonial robes, but without the mask and beard. At least a hundred monks dressed in scarlet robes stood in a circle around the throne, and the odd thing was the silence. No one spoke; no one moved so much as a finger. The only sound was the faint hiss of the torches. |
31 |
| Just as I was beginning to think that I was looking at a bunch of statues my hand dislodged a pebble, which rolled down the hill, and the moment it clattered upon the stones of the courtyard the figure seated upon the throne raised his hands in benediction, and bellowed deafeningly: |
32 |
| "Let the festival begin! Let there be bells and gongs! Let there be dancing and laughter!" |
33 |
| Bells and gongs began ringing all around the monastery, for that is what I decided the place must be, and the monks began capering awkwardly around and around the throne. |
34 |
| "Dance!" screamed the assistant. "Dance and laugh on this day of rejoicing!" |
35 |
| "Ha ha ha!" laughed the dancing monks. "Ho ho ho!" |
36 |
| "Release the bats!" bellowed the figure on the throne. "T'ien-kuan-ssu-fu!" |
37 |
| "Well well well," I said to myself. "T'ien-kuan-ssu-fu. So the Agent of Heaven brings Happiness, does he? You are going to make me very happy indeed when I cut your heart out, you miserable murdering bastard!" |
38 |
| I could recognize that bawling voice a mile away. I didn't even need a whiff of his body odor to know that it was the leader of the monks in crimson, who had taken our boat and tricked us into going down that tunnel. He was just as responsible as the monk in black for the death of Miser Shen, and he was going to pay for it. |
39 |
| I turned and crawled back the way I had come. I dropped back into the pit, and fondly patted the little monk's icy cheek. |
40 |
| "You are turning out to be very useful, little man," I said. |
41 |
| It was messy work, but when I had removed the monk's black robe and covered it with the blood which he had scattered around the pit it could pass for crimson in flickering torchlight. The worst part was putting it on. Then I knelt and took off my right sandal and slipped out the little blade that I always carried concealed in the heel. It was a Damascus blade - I hate to admit it, but such steel is unmatched even in China - very sharp and flexible, and while it was scarcely suitable for prying stones out of walls it had other uses. I unsnapped the false heel of the sandal. It had a hole bored in the hard leather, and the base of the Damascus blade was round and threaded. I screwed the blade into the hole. The heel was designed to fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. Then I climbed back out the hole and slithered up the tunnel once more. |
42 |
| "Dance!" the assistant screamed. "Dance for the God of Happiness!" |
43 |
| "Let there be more laughter!" bellowed the monk on the throne. "More bells! More gongs! Release more bats!" |
44 |
| Bells and gongs made a deafening din and thousands of terrified bats swooped through the air. (Bats are the symbols of Fu-hsing, God of Happiness, because both bat and happiness are pronounced "fu" in Mandarin.) The monks danced frantically in a circle, coiling in toward the throne in the center. |
45 |
| "Ha ha ha!" they laughed. "Ho ho ho!" |
46 |
| As each reached the throne he embraced the leader and received one of the parchment scrolls from the copper urn. He then danced on to the assistant who unrolled the scroll and read the Wish for Happiness in a loud braying voice. Nonsense wishes without wit or imagination - to be pickled in a cask of rare wine, for example, or to be reborn as a pillow in a brothel - but the monks received each stupid jest with roars of laughter. |
47 |
| I waited until the last monk had danced past, and then I slid down the side of the low cliff and joined the procession at the end of the line. After all, I had been asked to be the guest of honor at the Festival of Laughter, hadn't I? "Ha ha ha!" I laughed. "Ho ho ho!" The flickering torches cast the eerie shadows of dancing monks upon the monastery walls, and bells and gongs nearly deafened me, and bats swooped around my head. Around and around I danced, closer and closer to the throne, and finally it was my turn to embrace the God of Happiness. |
48 |
| The paper mask smiled at me. The foul body odor of the monk behind the mask made me gag. "A present from Miser Shen," I whispered, and I slammed my hand flat against his chest. The Damascus blade slipped through his black heart as easily as a pin sliding through a ball of cotton. I swiftly unscrewed the sandal heel, snatched up a scroll, and danced merrily on to the assistant. With the heel removed the little blade was invisible. There was scarcely a trace of blood. The paper mask concealed the face of the corpse and the throne held him upright. With any luck 1 could be halfway to Serendip before they noticed that anything was wrong. |
49 |
| "The God of Happiness grants that the last shall be first!" the assistant screeched as he read my scroll. "Our belated brother shall have the honor of carrying Fu-hsing upon his tour of inspection!" |
50 |
| Great Buddha! I looked around for the carriage, but when they began to lift the body of their leader from the throne I realized with a sickening sensation that they followed the old ritual, and I was to carry that corpse on my back! "Surely they will realize that he is dead!" I thought, but they did not. The light was poor and the paper mask stayed in place - besides, the bells and gongs and dancing monks made so much noise that it was difficult to think. The next thing I knew the dead monk was on my back, with his arms dangling down on either side of my neck, and his head lolling upon my right shoulder, and his legs held in my arms. The monks cleared a path in front of me. |
51 |
| "Dance! Dance!" the assistant screamed. "Our Lord of Happiness makes his tour of inspection!" |
52 |
| The laughing monks pressed from behind, and I lurched forward. It was a sick parody of my journey through the tunnel carrying Miser Shen, but the monk was heavier than Miser Shen and soon I began to puff and pant. |
53 |
| "Ha ha ha!" laughed the monks as they pressed behind me, "Ho ho ho!" |
54 |
| The body was setting with unbelievable swiftness. The flesh was ice cold, and the arms on either side of my neck were becoming as stiff as iron oars. The lolling head bounced up and down on my shoulder and the mask slipped off! Now they had to notice that their leader was dead! The bells and gongs rang madly, bats swooped through the torchlight, and the arms were squeezing my neck, choking me! I tried to loosen them, but nothing less than a crowbar could have budged those rigid limbs. The assistant moved closer; he uncoiled a whip. |
55 |
| "Our Lord of Happiness greets our honored brother!" he shrieked. |
56 |
| The lolling head slowly lifted from my shoulder. One eye popped open, and winked at me. The mouth opened, and carrion breath nauseated me. "My savior!" snickered the dead monk. "How kind of you to be our guest of honor at the Festival of Laughter." |
57 |
| Chiang shih! I had fallen into the trap of the rigid corpse that crawls from the grave at night and strangles wayfarers! Never in history had anyone been known to nave escaped the strangler's grip! I dropped the monster's legs and let them bounce along behind me on the ground as I wrenched at the murderous arms. I could not budge them. The assistant raised his whip and slashed my legs. |
58 |
| "Dance!" he screamed. "Dance for the God of Happiness!" |
59 |
| I was approaching the main avenue that ran through the rambling monastery. Side streets branched in all directions. I strained at the iron arms, and they pressed tighter. The rigid corpse opened his other eye, and winked both of them in sequence. |
60 |
| "Which way?" the monster snickered. "There are many delightful places to visit on our tour of inspection, and what a marvelous addition you will make to my monastery! You will love it here, Li Kao. You will never want to leave. Just like your brothers - look at them! See how they enjoy themselves!" |
61 |
| Suddenly the buildings seemed to shiver, and the spell was lifted and the veil was removed from my eyes, and I saw what I should have sensed all along. The monastery was a dank decaying cemetery. The buildings were tombs. The monks were corpses. |
62 |
| "Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho!" laughed the corpses as they danced at the will of their master. Their faces were fixed in the permanent grin of death; their eyes gaped wide in eternal horror. |
63 |
| "Which way, Li Kao? There are so many delightful places to visit," the rigid corpse snickered once more, and the arms pressed tighter and tighter and tighter. |
64 |
| The paths between rows of graves twisted crazily away from the avenue. It was a labyrinth...I stopped trying to breathe. I concentrated with all my might. Was I imagining it? Was I really hearing a faint voice saying, "Follow the dragon, Li Kao!? I managed to pull the chain and reach the locket; my fingers found the place where the dragon had stopped after leading me to the oasis. |
65 |
| "I can scarcely wait to tell my master of your conversation at the painting," said the rigid corpse as I staggered forward. "To think that you have been guided by Chang Heng! To think that you found the crystal ball and the bronze bell! My master will reward me richly for such information, and you too will be rewarded. You will laugh and dance for me forever in the Festival of Laughter. For ever and ever and ever." |
66 |
| "Dance!" howled the assistant as his whip lashed my legs. "Laugh! Let merriment reign in the Festival of Laughter!" |
67 |
| Second right...third right...first left...fourth left...My eyes were blurred and my breath hissed thinly from my lips. I could not go much farther. My fingers felt the holes in the locket. First right...second right...sixth left ...Corpses capered around me, bells and gongs battered my brain, bats squealed thinly as they flashed through torchlight. Second left... |
68 |
| My fingers reached the end of the locket! The dragon had run its course! But had it taken me far enough? Ahead of me was a small square with a stone pillar in the center. Torches flickered in brackets on one side of the pillar, and two ceremonial axes were crossed in a bracket on the other side. In front of the pillar was a bloodstained sacrificial altar, and beside it stood a huge stone basin filled with ceremonial oil. I just made it. |
69 |
| I plunged headfirst into the basin of oil and rolled over until the monster was beneath me. I braced both feet against the bottom of the basin and grabbed the iron arms of the rigid corpse. I pulled them apart as hard as I could, and suddenly jerked my head down. Slowly the oily arms slid up my oily neck, up the sides of my head, and with a loud pop I was free! I staggered to my feet and tumbled over the edge of the basin to the ground, and the monster climbed out and followed me, with arms lovingly spread. |
70 |
| "Come back, Li Kao, we have not finished our dance!" the rigid corpse laughed. |
71 |
| I made it to the pillar and grabbed an axe from the brackets. When the monster was in range I whipped the axe with all the strength I had and chopped its legs off at the knees. The torso fell upon the altar, and I raised the axe above my head. |
72 |
| "Such a clever boy," the rigid corpse snickered. "Are you going to chop me to pieces? If you plan to divide me into one half, one third, and one ninth, you must remember to make eighteen pieces. Seventeen is such a difficult number." |
73 |
| I took aim and chopped that grinning face right in two. The two halves of the horrible face continued to grin at me. "Quite," said the left half, "Useless," said the right half. I chopped the hands from the arms and the arms from the shoulders and split the torso in two, and then I dropped the axe and staggered away. "Ha ha ha!" laughed the capering corpses. "Ho ho ho!" The assistant's whip wrapped around my legs and I fell to the ground. "Our Lord of Happiness prepares the sacrifice!" the assistant screamed. |
74 |
| I lay there paralyzed with exhaustion and horror as the severed hands crawled over the rim of the basin and scuttled toward me like crabs. They climbed my legs. They crawled up my chest. They clamped around my throat, and not until the horrible hands began strangling me could I force myself to move. |
75 |
| I crawled back to the basin and plunged my head in the oil, and pried the oily fingers apart. I dropped the clawing hands back into the oil and raced to the pillar and grabbed a torch. Flames spurted twenty feet into the air when I stuck the torch into the basin. Again I staggered away, and again the assistant's whip dropped me to the ground. "Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho!" laughed the dancing corpses, and a pair of flaming hands crawled over the rim of the basin. The bats fluttered through the torchlight, bells and gongs played madness music, and the flaming hands crawled closer. |
76 |
| Fiery fingers reached out and clawed the air. A hissing jet of greasy flame enveloped the hands, and they stopped crawling. Fingers began to fall off, and the bones began to fall apart. There was a final spurt of oily fire, and then nothing remained but a small black patch of greasy charcoal. |
77 |
| I became aware of a strange silence. The bells and gongs had stopped. The corpses stood like statues, gazing at nothing with their horrified eyes. The assistant stood rigidly, whip half raised. Only the bats continued to move, fluttering through the torchlight. |
78 |
| I tried to stand. My hands were pressing down upon small sharp objects. They were diamonds. I turned and saw gold and emeralds and rubies, and enormous mounds of pearls and jade. I saw the great golden tiger mask of the Duke of Ch'in glittering above the treasure, and I saw a shadow where no shadow should be. |
79 |
| It was the third girl in the painting. |
80 |
| "Take pity upon a faithless handmaiden," she sobbed. "Is not a thousand years enough? I swear that I did not know what I had done! 0 take pity, and exchange this for the feather." Tears trickled down her cheeks and mingled with the blood that stained her gown. "The birds must fly," she said. And then she was gone. |
81 |
| I reached up and took the small object that her hands had cradled. Five hundred years ago the great Chang Heng had been seen near an abandoned cemetery. "I am looking," he said, "for a tiny silver flute." |
82 |
I gazed dumbly at the silver flute. I did not even try to make my mind work. I had paid dearly for my lapse into barbarism - but the point is I had paid. Chinese nightmares are not for dreamers. My head fell wearily to the ground and I closed my eyes and I slept like a baby. I did not dream at all.
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